My mother died on Mother’s Day 1975 right after I had turned 18 years old, 2 months before my high school graduation, 1 year before I got married, and 3 years before I had my first child.
That was a rough season for me and there were times I didn’t think I would make it. I took some leave from work and school and shut myself off from everyone. I didn’t think I could go on and I felt that G-d had let me down.
The only person I really spoke to during that time was an Aunt who was especially close. She was very close to my own age and yet older enough to have a lot of wisdom. She also was able to keep things light even though I felt so dark. That kept me from really going over the deep end. Somehow during that time of darkness and searching I found this verse: – Revelations 21:4:
…and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, crying, or pain; the first things have passed away.
I clung to the promises in that verse and the knowledge that one day I would feel my Heavenly Father’s fingers on my cheeks. Just thinking about that made me feel so much better for some reason. Believing and realizing that He understood my pain seemed to comfort me and I did not feel so alone or confused. I believed His promises and I believed with all my heart that He really spoke to me that day and met me in my hour of need. That was enough to keep me going. The days following I kept returning to that verse and I felt myself getting stronger and I began feeling angry at my mother for leaving me. But I realized later that the anger was the beginning of the healing and eventually I was able to laugh and smile again. The pain would remain with me for many, many years but it lessened over time. Each stab of pain was accompanied by the remembrance of how G-d helped me and comforted me. Psalm 34 is true: He IS close to the brokenhearted. We are never alone.
Today I heard a song that reminded me of this promise and I realized that G-d’s hands must be very large to hold all the tears of His children for so many of us have felt this kind of pain or have cried for so many various reasons. The song is “Praise You In This Storm” by Casting Crowns.
And I’ll praise You in this storm, and I will lift my hands
For You are who You are no matter where I am
And every tear I’ve cried You hold in Your hand
You never left my side and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
If life finds you in a storm right now, the only thing you can do is Praise Him. He will turn your ashes into beauty and He will reward your faith with a beautiful testimony of His love and sustenance. Your tears are not falling unheeded – He is catching every one of them and is holding them in His hand and one day…….. He will wipe away every tear we ever cried and we will never cry again.